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Self talk: how to be kind to yourself

Sounds simple, but we know in practise it can be really tricky. We’re often our harshest critic. It’s time to change the way you talk to yourself, and we can help get you started. 

It’s easy to fall into a pattern of talking negatively to yourself, telling yourself things that you’d never say to a friend or loved one. Learning to be kind to yourself and changing your internal voice can boost your self confidence, self belief and self worth. 

‘Self talk’ is the psychological term for your inner voice and changing our self talk to be more positive can have a great impact on the way we feel. Meg Selig, the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success, identifies 5 voices you can use to improve how you feel about yourself:  

The Rational Voice 

Catch it – identify any negative talk that might be making you feel worse. 

Challenge it – ask yourself if there’s any truth to your self talk? 

Change it – make a conscious effort to shift to more encouraging talk.  

The Kind Voice 

Use a kind voice, a positive voice to override the negative self talk. 

The Values Voice  

Use a voice that reminds you of your core values – the things you believe in – and your aims to activate your sense of purpose and boost your motivation levels. 

The Motivator Voice 

Help yourself fulfil your goals and uphold your values by giving yourself specific instructions. 

The Emotion Expert  

Help yourself to sense and cope with your feelings, amplifying them or cooling them down as needed.  

You can strengthen your positive self-talk by practising talking to yourself in these ways.  The more you strengthen your inner positive talk, the more your emotions and confidence will change too. Becoming kinder towards yourself can make you feel more hopeful, which is a great thing. 

To boost your self confidence, try writing down 5 positive things about yourself every morning. Or challenge yourself and take yourself out of your comfort zone. Achieving something new can make you feel unstoppable. 


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